The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing
by Thomas Hardy [1840-1928]
Page 1 of 4
Many years ago, when oak trees now past their prime were
about as large as elderly gentlemen's walking sticks, there lived
in Wessex a yeoman's son, whose name was Hubert. He was about
fourteen years of age, and was as remarkable for his candor and
lightness of heart as for his physical courage, of which, indeed,
he was a little vain.
One cold Christmas Eve his father, having no other help at
hand, sent him on an important errand to a small town several
miles from home. He travelled on horseback, and was detained by
the business till a late hour in the evening. At last, however,
it was completed; he returned to the inn, the horse was saddled,
and he started on his way. His journey homeward lay through the
Vale of Blackmore, a fertile but somewhat lonely district, with
heavy clay roads and crooked lanes. In those days, too, a great
part of it was thickly wooded.
It must have been about nine o'clock when, riding along amid
the over-hanging trees upon his stout-legged cob, Jerry, and
singing a Christmas carol, to be in harmony with the season,
Hubert fancied that he heard a noise among the boughs. This
recalled to his mind that the spot he was traversing bore an evil
name. Men had been waylaid there. He looked at Jerry, and wished
he had been of any other color than light gray; for on this
account the docile animal's form was visible even here in the
dense shade. "What do I care?" he said aloud, after a few minutes
of reflection. "Jerry's legs are too nimble to allow any
highwayman to come near me. "
"Ha! ha! indeed," was said in a deep voice; and the next
moment a man darted from the thicket on his right hand, another
man from the thicket on his left hand, and another from a
tree-trunk a few yards ahead. Hubert's bridle.was seized, he was
pulled from his horse, and, although he struck out with all his
might, as a brave boy would naturally do, he was overpowered. His
arms were tied behind him, his legs bound tightly together, and
he was thrown into the ditch. The robbers, whose faces he could
now dimly perceive to be artificially blackened, at once
departed, leading off the horse.
As soon as Hubert had a little recovered himself, he found
that by great exertion he was able to extricate his legs from the
cord; but, in spite of every endeavor, his arms remained bound as
fast as before. All, therefore, that he could do was to rise to
his feet and proceed on his way with his arms behind him, and
trust to chance for getting them unfastened. He knew that it
would be impossible to reach home on foot that night, and in such
a condition; but he walked on. Owing to the confusion which this
attack caused in his brain, he lost his way, and would have been
inclined to lie down and rest till morning among the dead leaves
had he not known the danger of sleeping without wrappers in a
frost so severe.
So he wandered further onwards, his arms wrung
and numbed by the cord which pinioned him, and his heart aching
for the loss of poor Jerry, who never had been known to kick, or
bite, or show a single vicious habit. He was not a little glad
when he discerned through the trees a distant light. Towards this
he made his way, and presently found himself in front of a large
mansion with flanking wings, gables, and towers, the battlements
and chimneys showing their shapes against the stars.
